Best Interest Facilitators
Who Needs a Best Interest Facilitator?
You are divorcing or separating parents and you want to spare yourselves and your children the pain, time, and expense of litigation. You are not motivated by revenge or continued fighting and drama. You understand that although you are hurting, you need to move on with your life and most importantly, place your children’s needs first. You are willing to do what it takes to help your children get through this difficult time and grow into healthy adults.
You realize that in order to accomplish this, you need assistance as you transition through your changing reality and begin the complicated process of uncoupling, especially with regard to separating your roles as spouses from your roles as parents. The family wants to learn to manage change in a positive way rather than to react to change in a negative and destructive manner.
What is a Best Interest Facilitator?
A Best Interest Facilitator is a mediator/facilitator who works with you and your ex to identify, create, implement and fine tune a parenting plan that is in your children’s best interests.
It is very traumatic for all family members when a relationship ends. Every member of the family must make shifts. In times of crisis it may be difficult to think straight, but it is when your children need you the most. We help you to stay focused on the present and future by collaborating with your family to work through major disagreements and co-create a parenting plan that addresses your children’s unique needs and circumstances.
When does a Best Interest Facilitator get involved?
A Best Interest Facilitator gets involved when you are separating. The goal is to steer you away from painful, expensive, draining litigation and towards settlement that is in your children’s best interest.
How does the Best Interest Facilitator Process Work?
Initially, we will meet with each of you separately to learn more about your unique situation and family dynamic. This includes gaining an understanding of the history of parental conflict, matters of current concern, and each child’s unique needs and circumstances. We would decide together if it would make sense to meet with your children so we can understand who they are and what is important to them. In getting to know your family, we also can review reports, school records, and/or court documents and/or speak to teachers, coaches, therapists, doctors, grandparents, caregivers, and other important people in your lives.
Once we get a better understanding of your family, we may make recommendations as to therapy, classes, or other support services to help you get through your own pain, focus on your children’s needs, and learn to co-exist and co-parent. We make every effort to match you and your children with the appropriate therapist or class. Therapists have different specialties, personalities, philosophies, and experiences. It is important that you find one that you feel comfortable with and trust.
We will help to mediate a temporary co-parenting arrangement to allow you and your children time to adjust to the separation. During this critical time, we work as a team with therapists to help you and your children through the transition that comes when a relationship ends. We remain available to troubleshoot when necessary and/or when disagreements arise. Once everyone feels supported and has had a chance to adjust to the change, we meet with you to co-create a permanent child-centered co-parenting arrangement.
The Best Interest Facilitation process is mediation and therefore confidential. The work we do together is not "discoverable" and cannot be used in court.
Why is a Best Interest Facilitator Beneficial?
- Peaceful. Our goal is child-centered conflict resolution. It is undisputed that children benefit immensely when parents can cooperate and communicate effectively.
- Child-centered. All facilitators are trained child advocates and focus solely on your children’s best interest. Your attorney is concerned with securing your rights. We, on the other hand, are concerned with your children’s well-being.
- Cost-effective. Instead of each side having to retain their own attorneys, custody evaluator, experts and mediator, parents share in the cost of many of our services. Parents can use their extra savings to pay for their children’s education, a home, or a vacation.
- Fast. The courts are crowded. A contested custody case could take over a year before trial. Facilitated custody settlements usually take far less time. Parents should be spending the extra time with their children, pursuing other interests, or just taking care of themselves, instead of spending all of your time on litigation.
- Healthy. Parents learn to work through problems. At the same time, their children will learn through the parents’ actions how to overcome conflict and challenges. The transition is so much faster because you have faced your pain and loss and dealt with it, instead of living in denial and being stuck in the past.
- New Beginnings. Once the break up is resolved, parents will have fresh new energy and closure so they can focus on their career, education, relationships, hobbies, and a social life.